I first met Toya on the hallowed grounds of Morehouse College during a Homecoming Weekend in 2006. Toya was attending with a colleague from work, who graduated from Spelman College, while I was celebrating homecoming with my classmates. I was somewhat aloof when this bright-eyed woman approached me, stating I looked familiar, and asked if I was from Detroit. I said no, and we parted ways. I saw her again later; realized just how cute she was; and I did what I should have done initially. I asked for her name and telephone number.

We kept in touch and visited one another, but as time passed, and I remained in New Jersey and Toya lived in Metro Detroit, we realized distance was not on our side.  Although a meaningful romance seemed unlikely, we remained friends and spoke periodically for over a decade.

The Second Time Around

Kobie

I attended Morehouse’s Homecoming in October 2022. The flood of good thoughts reminded me of meeting Toya there years earlier. A wise man seeks good counsel, so that weekend, I told my close friends how I felt about Toya and asked what I should do.

I started with a phone call to feel her out before pledging my entire heart. As Fall transitioned into Spring of 2023, the phone calls evolved into a trip to Detroit to see Toya again.

Our conversations became more meaningful over time, and after months of communicating, Kobie explained he needed to come to Detroit for business. He came to town and planned dinner off the river and arrived in a suit with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. As the live band played –we sang along. He came prepared with an itinerary of things to do that weekend– winery, comedy show, dinner. It was now apparent that his trip wasn’t about the business meeting. He came to see me. 

Kobie

Living in different states meant planning, so we made it a point to visit one another and to travel as part of becoming closer. After a few months of rekindled dating, I knew Toya was the one, so I spoke with my mentor and friend, Dr. Denise Brown, Esq. who recommended that we speak with couples counselors, married for over 40 years, who specialized in spiritually based counseling. Our time with the Thompsons increased our understanding of one another and the Christian meaning of marriage. This is where the most important part of our journey truly began

After a year of deliberate dating, I knew it was time to make things much more official with Toi. Because her father was ill, I decided to ask Toya’s mother for permission to marry her daughter. Her mom gave a resounding yes and expressed her excitement about our future together. 

Finding the right engagement ring is a serious proposition, so for me, I thought it was best to ask Toya what she liked. She sent me pictures of rings for inspiration; however, I decided to create something that captured how special and loving she is to me. 

With the ring secured, the next step was to create the perfect setting in which to ask Toya for her hand in marriage.